If you care for a preschooler chances are you have heard the irritating
whine that calls on all your care giving skills and patience, to ignore.
Unfortunately it is a behavior that can turn into a very annoying habit and may affect
your child's interactions with teachers and other children if not managed early on.
To combat this 'fingernails on a blackboard' method of communication it is valuable to
discern WHY your child is whining.
"Why Do Kids Whine?"
Whining often starts in toddlers aged 2 to 3 as they deal with overwhelming situations and
developments. With language being a new and sometimes rudimentary skill, whining
is actually a progression from crying - the only method younger babies have
to communicate.
In this sense, most whining can be attributed to physical or mental exhaustion rather than
manipulation. Children who are tired, cranky, hungry or frustrated may switch to whining
as a device to claim attention. While this form of attention getting can be aggravating to
parents and caregivers, they should try to view it as a signal of the child's state, not
as a purposeful tactic of control.
While trying to manage a young child's environment can reduce whining,
it is still important to encourage proper communication. This is especially true as the
child gets older if they rely on whining as a method of getting what they
want.
While parents may find an infant's crying to be bothersome, it is still recognized as a
tool for communication. As language skills develop it is vital that children learn to rely
on verbal expression rather than whining to relate to others.
If your older child regularly whines when denied a request or asked to
follow direction (time for bed, no candy, hurry up) you will need to stay unemotional and
clear in your direction to avoid fueling the fire.
Suggestions such as telling them you can't understand them and requesting them to talk
with a 'big boys voice' may help. Warning your child that you will not give in to whining
must be followed without exception. If you said no to a request for a toy while in the
store you must stick to your decision despite the whining.
Praise your child when they ask for things in a proper voice. Even if you are not able to
give them what they ask for, do praise them first and tell them what they WILL get for
asking nicely. Perhaps it's an ice cream when they get home or an extra story at bedtime.
Acknowledge that they are disappointed and suggest you make a plan for doing (or getting)
what they want for another time if that is actually possible. Thank them for dealing with
the situation.
If possible, find areas where you can prevent the whining ahead
of time. If leaving the park always results in whining you may not be able to say you
won't take them back if they keep it up. However, if you tell them BEFORE going that you
are only staying for half an hour and then you're going to do such and such (including
something rewarding if you're running errands or going home) you may find an instant
reduction in the amount of whining. If it starts, you might remind them of your plans and
take the REWARD away if the whining continues.
Whatever your strategy, helping children grow includes helping them communicate in a
positive way. This, like so many other aspects of parenting, is not an overnight job.
Patience and consistency will assist you while working with your child in developing these
skills.
How to Deal with Whiners
|
Create a Photo Book. Starting at Just $9.99.
Click here to See 
*Work-at-home ideas